In one month and eight days your moleskine will be filled to the maximum with beauty thanks in large part to your patience and perseverance. Like she always says, “this too shall pass.” Maybe I should call her soon. Got applauded today in class for an introductory paragraph to an essay that I had written five minutes before. It makes me feel a little cheap, but it was comforting in a small way. Everything is going to be alright, you just have to remember that (I just have to remember that).

I hate Kutztown. Well, not really hate. I just hate the people. I think I’m going to transfer to a smaller school next year, preferrably Muhlenberg. I’m going to get dean’s list this semester so that I don’t have to waste my life at a college I don’t completely love.

Pentax K2000 is my life and reason to wake up in the morning.

I think, that since everyone is going home this weekend, I’m just going to stay here and enjoy the scenery. I don’t care if I’m by myself anymore. I’m going to take as many pictures as I can. I think that if I prove I’m a good enough photographer, my dad will actually consider getting me a Rebel or atleast a digital point and shoot with the SLR body.

I can’t believe I thought he’d be mad at me after all this time. Everything feels right with the world again.

I’m finally sick of all of my bad habits, and of my anxiety. I’m tired of being lazy and feeling terrible about myself all of the time. For once in my short life, I am going to take the initiative for myself to lose weight, to conquer my various anxieties and to make myself a better, healthier person. I took the first step by starting a new life, and now that I have it, I should take the fullest advantage of it.

I decided I should, at the very least, keep up with my daily thoughts as thoroughly and concisely as humanly possible, considering I haven’t written a lick of anything creative in weeks. I can’t find the patience to keep myself at a desk when there are screaming, drunken people roaming about the hallways here. Thankfully, I don’t have a roommate and thus I can even be up at this hour with no one to disturb. Today, my dorm building apparently caught fire while I was with Lenny. But upon returning to my room after the “fire” had long gone out, my belongings are completely unscathed (thank you, whoever decided to create some kind of divine intervention because literally every other aspect of my life has gone up in flames, save for my love life). As it turns out, some highly inebriated seniors on the sixth floor decided it would be a good idea to start a fire and then go about their merry way, which included throwing a fire extinguisher down the stairwell. Common sense apparently does not automatically associate itself with intelligence, as this is housing for a good amount of honors students. It really makes me wonder. Anyways, Lenae, Brendan, and Jake are making their way up here on Sunday, and I could not be happier for that considering my car is slowly deteriorating. It started making awful noises at me this evening. RIP my poor, lovely Walter. I need to start looking for another car. I think that since I am beyond delirious at this point, I should probably sleep. Goodnight, moon. I’ll write again tomorrow so that I don’t forget how. Maybe because I can write about my day, some kind of inspiration will come of it.

I don’t know why I always end up talking to someone who will never see this on here, but maybe that’s the way I wanted it to be. I don’t know why you pop back into my life when I am finally happy. When I feel like I can’t hear all the things you said and visualize all the things you did (good and bad) anymore, you come back with some kind of anecdotal bullshit that reminds me of a time when my life made no sense and you were the only one who understood because you never knew who you were. You still don’t know who you are. At least you’ve admitted to yourself though, I’m proud of you for that. But I’m beginning to wonder why I can’t just be happy.

how much you care for someone. I almost literally lost Brendan today. There were complications with the anesthesia after his surgery today, and he was having trouble breathing. So I skipped my last class and went back to New Jersey to see him. I’m still worried that something will happen to him in the night. He looked so miserable lying there in pain on his bed. I cried for hours. I know that I never took Brendan for granted, but you never expect to almost lose someone. When his mom called me and told me what happened, I nearly collapsed on the floor. I’m so thankful that something, some benevolent force perhaps, allowed me to get there without killing myself and allowed Brendan to stay safe. I made the decision to come home this weekend, just for him. I can’t even properly articulate what I want to say about all this pandemonium, so I’m just going to leave it at count your blessings.

While trying to find a reliable source for nose-piercing care, I found a Harvard blog called “Proper Nose Piercing Care -or- How to Get Rid of ‘the Bump’”. It basically explained that using Tea Tree Oil is an antiseptic and will dry up the bump on my nose. Basically all the feedback on the blog was positive, and the blog was on the Harvard website. I’m very confident that this will work, and even though it’s silly, just that one discovery makes everything seem just a little more light-hearted. I can’t wait for school now, and I should probably be sleeping so that I can safely drive there in the morning. Goodnight, moon.